I have a ten-pound gray poodle and two cats. They are sweet and affectionate, adorable and playful. From Frisco, I get unconditional love and writing breaks when we go for walks. Bruno is my big gray and white striped baby who loves to cuddle and Dante, my black cat, is a gentle angel. Like most siblings, they fight. It’s why I’m glad they don’t have cell phones, and thumbs. Not only would I have to endure their endless texts, they’d use up all the minutes on our family plan and leave none for me.
Their texts would go something like this:
Frisco: Mom, tell Bruno and Dante to stop acting like spoiled kittens.
A separate text arrives from Bruno. Frisco is a stupid mutt.
Me? I do what most parents would do. I ignore them, but the texts don’t stop.
Dante: Tell Frisco and Bruno to grow up.
Bruno and Dante as kittens
Not only would they snitch on each other, during group texts they would bark (and meow) orders at me.
Dante: We need more treats.
Frisco: Tuna is for pussies. Beef.
Bruno: Bring me a new toy. Frisco slobbered on mine.
Frisco: Did not.
Dante: Frisco steals my toys.
Frisco: Do not.
Again, I’d ignore them, knowing there are plenty of treats and toys at home, but then would come the texts every animal parent and human parent longs for.
Bruno: When are you coming home, mom?
Oh no, I think, here comes another round of complaints. But then:
Dante: We miss you.
Frisco: Can’t wait to go for our evening walk.
Bruno: I’ll let you cut my nails.
With texts like these, I’d eagerly sign up for a family plan.